I was on Reality TV and it absolutely is not real


I have lived a very bizarre life, blog friends. Even beyond everything I already have shared on this blog (so far), there is plenty more that I haven't shared yet. Some stuff I'm not ready to share, some stuff I have to wait until a certain point to share and some stuff I absolutely do not want to talk about and probably never will. 

And then there is everything else. Even within that stuff? I don't even know where/how to begin to explain it all even though I have already mostly talked about it on my youtube channel.  




I didn't mention it when I filmed the video (see above) but HERE is the information of the reality TV series and actual episode information of that one (and only) time when I was actually on reality TV.

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One of the hardest things about having done something like being on reality TV (for me, at least) is the fact that as real life went on beyond the broadcasting of the episode, my life was nothing close to any sort of "happily ever after" as much as it could have been. Even more interestingly is the fact that before everything came to a head for me and my life, I found out that the other couple in the episode split up eventually too. (I couldn't confirm this but I for as much as I was able to find out, I was told by the post production team that it happened.)

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One of my very good friends said to me recently, "There was nothing normal about your marriage at all. Nothing. I mean... look at the circumstances of your actual wedding!!" 

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Yeah. I don't even know what to say to that ^^^^ except to agree with my friend.  

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I don't talk about all of this with my daughter too much and that's because - despite the "rosy picture" of being on TV in the way I was, things were not OK at all with what was really going on in my personal life. And in the years that followed? They only got worse to the point where I finally realize just how amazing it is that my daughter and I finally are where/how we are because of where we have been.  

The fact of the matter is, when it comes to reality TV (or any TV/movie/Hollywood productions for that matter), when the cameras are rolling, there are producers and directors and camera crews who can skew and frame what they are filming and CREATING (and later, producing and editing) to look any way they think will be good TV. But the people in front of the cameras? There might be a whole lot going on that the cameras couldn't possibly be picking up on unless you really REALLY know the person in front of the cameras. 

Way back when I was a high school teacher, some of my students begged me to tell them more about being on reality TV. I kind of made them work for the information in order to figure out the television series and episode number. When they finally figured it out, I obliged them by confirming that they were right and they were so excited to go home and watch the episode so they could come back and keep talking to me about it all. 

After my students were able to watch the show, one of the first things that they said to me of how I was depicted/presented was, "You didn't look happy at all. You didn't seem at all like yourself especially considering you were getting married."

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Maybe that's because things weren't OK because other stuff was brewing and just waiting to get worse than I ever could have imagined. 

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It's been over a decade since I had my actual "15 minutes" on TV.  I intentionally don't call it 15 minutes of fame because honestly? I'm not famous (because of being on TV) and I was never trying to be famous and for the rest of my life? Fame will always be far from my goal. 

My goals are a lot more simple (and, I hope) realistically attainable and include things like being the best mom I can to my daughter, help others by sharing what I have been through so (maybe) they don't have to go through what I have had to go through, and have a peaceful and purposeful life. Before I was on reality TV, those were my goals and even now (10 years later) I can say that those are still about the same as what I still want to say I did at the end of my years. 


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